Gay men in straight bars

One of the great things about the hottest club in any town these days is that gay people are welcome. But with acceptance comes responsibility, and over the years homosexual partiers, like a bunch of hard-drinking Emily Posts, have had to learn the ins-and-outs of how to behave in a mostly-straight environment without pissing anyone off.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for straight people when attending a gay watering hole with their same-sex-loving friends. This is the most important lesson for all ladies to know before they step foot in a queer establishment unless, of course, it is the fabled lesbian bar. Women are used to being let into clubs first, not having to pay a cover, served at the bar quickly, and basically allowed to do whatever the hell they want to do in straight bars.

It is exactly the opposite in a gay bar. Women, while fun to have around, are practically invisible at a gay party. Congrats, ladies, this is how men feel in straight bars.

An Etiquette Guide for Straight People in Gay Bars

Now, you need to get used to it, no throwing fits and bitching and moaning because no one is going to put you on a pedestal or let you dance on a gay platform. Just deal with it for one night. Remember when I said we love it when straight people come to our bars? They are usually bars where boys go late at night to make out with strangers and engage in a little slap and tickle in a dark corner.

Do not go there. Boys who like boys are going there to get laid, and babysitting straight people is not conducive to scoring dick. If anything you are there to be his wingman. The problem is, no one there wants to have sex with you. If you see young love blossoming, get out of the damn way, or excuse yourself to make your own booty call.

That means keep them out of gay bars. We know you want to look at strippers, but you have to find somewhere for women to do it. To you it might be one night of misbehaving, but this is our life. OK, bars, we will make a deal with you. Men that fair? We know you find it thrilling that your lady parts mean nothing to us and that you can touch our magic sticks without making them stand on end, but that does not mean there should be any inappropriate groping.

In return, we will try to resist touching your knockers. And keep the PDA light. In fact, it probably increases his likelihood of dudes wanting to chat him up. Know how straight guys like girl-on-girl action? Just let the straight deluded soul hitting on you down nicely without being insulting. Either that or flirt your way into a few free drinks.